I tend to feel very misplaced in many aspects of my life. The area I desire to express my struggles and hardship is within my family life. I deeply care for my family members unfortunately I feel as if I am constantly underappreciated. I rarely identify with my family, at many times I feel immensely alienated. I simply don't fit in with my family. I attempt to be as supportive and warmhearted towards my family as feasible, which is both arduous and back-breaking. I have consistently felt compelled to provide assistance to my sisters and their families on numerous occasions. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping my family when in need, nonetheless it can be both gratifying and very enervating. I love my neices and nephews to pieces which is why my decision is a difficult one to come to. However one must decide what circumstance is most advantageous for themselves. I don't want to be held back by anything or anyone.
I have elected that as soon as I graduate next May I must proceed onward with my journey. Which means I must take a step outside of my comfort zone and move away from Michigan or no less than to the opposite side of the state. I feel as if I am being held back here, living here is undeniably limiting and mentally draining. As I come to this conclusion I recognize this next year will be critical as it will ultimately enormously influence my decision as to what is next for myself.
The most difficult decision will not be leaving my family but leaving my church. My church is astounding, I am touched by the message the holy spirit delivers toward me every week. I am so privileged to be able to call Valley Family Church, my church. This is why relocating would be an extremely difficult decision for me to make, however I can go anywhere from here. There are so many alternatives for me after undergraduate school. I could attend graduate school to obtain my Masters either here in the US or overseas, I could embark on my new career as a behavioral analyst, I could start a family of my own, I could travel overseas and venture on a journey, the possibilities are never ending. At this moment the specifics as to where my life will lead is unrevealed. Only God knows what will transpire in the next year.
The most difficult decision will not be leaving my family but leaving my church. My church is astounding, I am touched by the message the holy spirit delivers toward me every week. I am so privileged to be able to call Valley Family Church, my church. This is why relocating would be an extremely difficult decision for me to make, however I can go anywhere from here. There are so many alternatives for me after undergraduate school. I could attend graduate school to obtain my Masters either here in the US or overseas, I could embark on my new career as a behavioral analyst, I could start a family of my own, I could travel overseas and venture on a journey, the possibilities are never ending. At this moment the specifics as to where my life will lead is unrevealed. Only God knows what will transpire in the next year.
"I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." - Jeremiah 29:11
No comments:
Post a Comment