twelve months toward happiness - my weight loss journey

The first year after high school I became vegetarian and then a vegan, I was vegetarian for 6 months and then vegan for 3 months. At that moment in my life I found myself working out often. Soon after, I realized I was now at my lowest weight. Unfortunately and unexpectedly all of this changed when I jumped into a relationship. From my relationship I acquired extremely terrible eating habits and stopped going to the gym. Long story short I began gaining weight excessively; Within a matter of approximately 4 years, I realized that I had gained 100 lbs. I became miserable within every aspect of my life. I was especially unhappy with myself for allowing this happen.

This is more than embarrassing to say, however, May 2015 I weighed a total of 285 lbs. It was the first time I realized that I had let myself gain over 100 lbs, which is over 25 lbs a year.

At this point in my life I can proudly come out and say that I have lost 90 lbs. I am now 195 lbs and in less than a year's time! Personally this is one of my biggest accomplishments. I have yet to reach my overall goal, but I am happy; I'm no longer self conscious. I am still in pursuit of my goals. I still have many accomplishments that I desire to reach and will seek them with all my heart until met.

I owe this all to my faith in God. Faith in God has done so much for me in the past year. It wasn't the weight loss that led me to become so happy, it was having Him by my side in all I do. So much good has came my way since I began my journey in God. He has definetly blessed me! I am so fortunate that I found Him! I look forward to growing with Him in all aspects of my life! I know God has great plans for me!

"Have faith in God. I tell you, you can say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart."
Mark 11:22-23

what shall transpire?

I tend to feel very misplaced in many aspects of my life. The area I desire to express my struggles and hardship is within my family life. I deeply care for my family members unfortunately I feel as if I am constantly underappreciated. I rarely identify with my family, at many times I feel immensely alienated. I simply don't fit in with my family. I attempt to be as supportive and warmhearted towards my family as feasible, which is both arduous and back-breaking. I have consistently felt compelled to provide assistance to my sisters and their families on numerous occasions. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping my family when in need, nonetheless it can be both gratifying and very enervating. I love my neices and nephews to pieces which is why my decision is a difficult one to come to. However one must decide what circumstance is most advantageous for themselves. I don't want to be held back by anything or anyone.

I have elected that as soon as I graduate next May I must proceed onward with my journey. Which means I must take a step outside of my comfort zone and move away from Michigan or no less than to the opposite side of the state. I feel as if I am being held back here, living here is undeniably limiting and mentally draining. As I come to this conclusion I recognize this next year will be critical as it will ultimately enormously influence my decision as to what is next for myself.

The most difficult decision will not be leaving my family but leaving my church. My church is astounding, I am touched by the message the holy spirit delivers toward me every week. I am so privileged to be able to call Valley Family Church, my church. This is why relocating would be an extremely difficult decision for me to make, however I can go anywhere from here. There are so many alternatives for me after undergraduate school. I could attend graduate school to obtain my Masters either here in the US or overseas, I could embark on my new career as a behavioral analyst, I could start a family of my own, I could travel overseas and venture on a journey, the possibilities are never ending. At this moment the specifics as to where my life will lead is unrevealed. Only God knows what will transpire in the next year.

"I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." - Jeremiah 29:11

don't EVER lose your way!

This weekend reminded me of how far I have came. How much I have done for myself. How much good I have in my life and how blessed I truly am! It reminded me of how much I don't want to go back to the "old" me. I decided to sit down and write myself a letter in case I ever do lose my way. A note to remind me of what is really important in life. 

Everything that I currently have I don't wanna give up. I love doing things for myself and for others. I am more independent and confident than I have ever been. I love how happy I am with my life. 

It can be so easy to lose your way in this life. Sometimes life throws at you too many options, you don't know which is the right way to go or which option to choose. You don't want to make a wrong choice or decision and end up unhappy or regretting it. However we all know too well that it can be very hard to know what choice is the right choice. Luckily we have someone who can guide us into the right direction. This is God. God guides us. God forgives us. God blesses us. God strengthens us. God heals us. God loves us. If you have God in your life you know how much he can do for you. However you have to have faith. 

We all know we must continuously grow and change in this life. If you aren't growing in an aspect of your life you won't end up where you should be. You won't be happy. You will be at a standstill. There are people who tend to halt you from that growth. Sometimes you have to leave those people behind and continue your journey without them. Don't ever let someone hold you back from something!

In my letter to myself I included little reminders. Sometime I use the reminders daily as they can be little things that are easy to forget. 

Number one: Don't ever lose yourself. Don't forget your dreams and goals and don't let anyone hold you back from them. 

Number two: Be patient. Patience is something I am currently mastering. I have a lot of patience, however I don't ever want to lose this. A sense of peace come to one's self and mind when they have patience. 

Number Three: Don't get mad at small things. The small things in the world are what get us. They have their way of building upon one another crushing us. We need to see them as they truly are SMALL THINGS. Why get mad over them, its pointless and causes more halm to oneself. 

Number Four: You don't always have to be right. Sometimes instead of causing a fight its better to just go with the flow of things. Its can be easier too and sometimes even lead to more fun. So don't worry about whether or not you are right. 

Number Five: You don't need to be perfect to be happy. This one is hard for me. I tend to want everything to be perfectly planned out, however that isn't the way things are always meant to be. A lot of times it is simpler, easier, and more enjoyable to just go with the flow of things and not stress about them. 

Number Six: Find joy in the little things. I sometimes look up at the blue sky or the sun and it just brings me an overwhelming amount of joy and peace. You can find these things everywhere you go. From birds sitting on a line to the stars coming out at night. There is beauty everywhere in the world that brings moments of joy. 

Number Seven: Love with all your heart. If you choose to love someone, Love them with all you have. Love them with every piece of your heart. Don't hold back and don't be afraid to let someone in. 

Number Eight: Never stop smiling. Smiles are the best thing anyone can wear. I walk around with a smile on my face constantly because I love my life. Smiling can also be contagious, when you give someone else a smile they will more than likely smile back at you.  

Number Nine: Be Happy. This one is simple and comes from all the other things. Just simply be a cheerful, joyous, smiling individual. Always think positively and never negatively. Don't worry about the little things and live happily. 

Number Ten: Be yourself. This is the best one. It is to be yourself. You aren't anyone if you aren't you. Don't be afraid to be yourself, even if you are a little weird. 

Trust God's Love

Life can be hard! For me right now, in my life, I have so much stacked up! I have always been one to worry about everything a year in advance. For many that is a good thing, however worrying about the whole next year every single day can be really strenuous on the mind and soul.

I have more stressors than I am comfortable to list but here is my short list. Getting good grades (BA or higher) in all my classes, finishing homework on time, acing every quiz and exam, studying and preparing for daily classes, getting into grad school, paying for classes this summer, paying for bills, trying to find time to work, obtaining a position that will allow me to earn enough to pay for school and my bills, starting my first practicum this summer, getting ready to take the GRE this summer, actually taking the GRE, helping my sister move into her house, fixing up my sisters old house, moving into my sister's old house and finally living alone, becoming a mentor to a new little sister (BBBS), volunteering at my church every week, attending church every week, continuously growing my relationship with God, living a healthier lifestyle, working out, goal of running a 5K in 27 minutes, reaching my goal weight by the end of the summer, maintaining my relationships with my current friends, forming new relationships with new friends, hanging out with my neices and nephews, maintaining my relationships with my grandma and sisters, traveling somewhere new christmas break, getting into the classes I need in order to finish school in May, and graduating next May. 

I have many other worries, all causing a great deal of stress and/or pain. These ones are probably causing some of the most stress as I am trying to find the time to do everything. I am constantly thinking about each and everyone of those stressors, trying to find solutions to relieve my stress, however sometimes there are no current solutions.

I know the solution to all my problems is to stop worrying and to pray on it. And pray on it I do. However I am still having trouble with the stop worrying part. Praying helps, however I often find myself lying awake in bed for hours, restless, no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about it. 

This week has been really hard! I have been feeling really down. I'm not sure exactly why. My guess is too much worrying and all the stress building up. The anniversary of my mother's death was sunday and today, March 23rd, is her 43rd birthday. Tonight is just one of those nights where I just feel like breaking down and crying, and that's okay. I am going to pray to God, I know he will hear me and I know he is looking after me. He has a plan for me that I yet do not know nor understand. I just know that everything does happen for a reason. So good will come from the stress and pain I am feeling now.What God has planned next for me will be great! The first one in my family with a bachelors degree, I will be a BCaBA. I will reach so many of my goals in the next 12 months. 

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

 - Philippians 4:6-7

We all have our own problems and worries. We all have our own stress and pain that we each deal with. We must all must give them to god and pray on them. One of my favorite sayings: If God brings you to it he will bring you through it. So trust the Lord with all your heart and Pray. 

MARCH MADNESS

March is a stressful month for me. It is the anniversary of my mother's death, March 20th and also my mothers birthday, March 23rd. There are some things the heart will NEVER get over. For me this will always be the loss of my mother. She was always a big part of my life. The reason I did everything I did. This month is hard for me because it brings back the emotions of the worst day of my life.

There are some things that are hard to talk about and this for me has always been one of those things. I want to share my story of that day. 

It was an unusually bright and sunny morning. I woke up early for school along with my sisters. My mother allowed me to drive her jeep to school every morning. I was the only one of my sisters with their drivers license, so I was the only one she allowed to drive her jeep. That morning as I was leaving for school my mother was also leaving the house, she was getting into her truck with my sister Heather. I started up the jeep and looked at the fuel tank and it was running low. I quickly walked over to my mother's truck as I didn't want to be late for school and asked her for gas money. She joked about how I was her most expensive child and how I was always asking for money and handed me $10 for gas. I questioned her, whether or not she would be home or working when I return home later that evening after softball practice. She told me she should be and that she didn't have work for the day just one quote, but should be home before myself. As I was getting into the jeep I responded and said, "okay, thanks, I will see you when I get home, love you!" She responded, "you only love me for my money." I quickly rolled my eyes as I had expected her to say that and quickly shouted back to her, "love you" once again. She shouted back, "love you too."

As I was pulling out the driveway I remember thinking to myself, What would I do without my mother? I couldn't imagine life without her. An unwanted suicidal thought quickly filled my head, as I thought to myself, I couldn't live without her! She was such a great mother. My relationship with my mother was the best and strongest it had ever been at that point in my life. 

It was just a normal day at school and softball practice. Nothing out of the usual. I drove home, hopped out of the jeep and walk into my house. To my surprise I walk in and the house is completely quiet, I think, where is everyone? I look in my moms room and she wasn't home. The house was empty. My sisters were at my grandmas house next door, so I started walking toward my grandmas. One of my sisters was outside, when out of nowhere my mothers boyfriend, at that time, his grandmother and grandfather pulled up next to them and told them my mother was in the hospital in St. Joe and that she was in an accident. This part is kind of a blur. I was just confused as to why she was not home when she said she would be home. 

Next thing I know I am sitting in the back seat of my grandmothers van as she is driving to the hospital. My little sisters Ora and Taylor sitting next to me crying, extremely worried, and expressing their concerns as if my mother was dying. I get upset! I demand that they stop crying and expressing their awful worries aloud. I hate when peoples minds jump to the worst possible scenario. They didn't know what exactly was going on, no one did. I told them that everything would be okay and that she is going to be fine. I try to keep them from worrying. In my mind I hoped that it was nothing more than maybe a broken leg and arm. I start thinking to myself, what is she is bed bound? I am going to have to stay home and take care of her. I would do anything for her. I run through my mind a million other scenarios, all in hopes for the best and that she was coming home with us. I am always one to keep my cool in stressful situations. I try to keep everyone from worrying and always hope for the best outcome.

When we finally arrive at the hospital we enter and they inform us she is in need of a CAT scan and we would be updated as they have more information. Sitting against a wall we spot her boyfriend crying. He sees all of my family and immediately starts apologizing, "I am so sorry" he cries. I had never seen someone so distraught. My mind suddenly turned from trying to remain positive to extremely negative. My uncle demands to know exactly what happened. He starts telling his story and my mind suddenly goes blank. I can't think, I sit against the wall hearing from his mouth what exactly happened. That he didn't know why she came running toward the tree as it was falling. He didn't know what she was thinking. His story is mostly a blur. When he told the stoty out loud, I realized I was wrong. I realized that this is more serious than a few broken bones. I realized that I was so wrong to tell my sisters to stop crying. At that moment I knew it was serious, sitting against the wall, I began to plead to God not to take my mother. I hoped that no matter how critical her condition, I get to keep my mother.

Time seemed to go by fast. Felt like I was only sitting for maybe 15 minutes when a doctor came out and asked for the family of Cathrine Novak to follow him. We were all asking questions, we wanted to see our mother and just know what was going on. It was just like how you see in a movie. He said to us,"you might want to have a seat." Someone said to the doctor, "just tell us what is going on." He finally then stated, "we took her in to get a CAT scan, while trying to get the scan her heart had stopped, we brought her back and re attempted the CAT scan however her heart kept stopping and she fought hard and didn't want to give up but we couldn't bring her back." At that very moment, my heart stopped and all I could do is cry. I secluded myself from my sisters in the corner and broke down. We were all shocked and we were all in tears of despair. We never imagined that this could happen to us and our mother. My grandma reassured us, "It is okay, I will take care of you guys."

We were allowed to see my mother at the hospital and tell her Goodbye. This was the hardest moment of my whole entire life. We walked into a room with curtains drawn to find my mother laying on her back with a tube sticking out of her mouth with blood in it. I walked in and could barely stand to see her like that. I touched her hand and started crying some more. I gave her a kiss and said I love you one last time before I walked out the room.

In the hospital I didn't think of anyone but myself and my mother. How I lost my mother. How it all affected me. Later in life I realized how self centered I was at this moment in my life. My grandma was there for me. Who was there for her? Never once did it cross my mind how hurt my grandmother was. She definitely didn't show it to us. She was strong when we were all weak. She was the backbone in our family. She had just lost her only daughter and was able to hold it together. My mother always said, "the hardest thing would be to lose one of you girls." she wanted to die before any of her children did. My grandma had just lost a child, the thing my mother said would be the hardest to overcome. I wish I was more considerate at a younger age and thought more how it affected each and every one of us. I regret that I wasn't there for my grandma and feel horrible all the time for having always just thought of myself. 

My mother was a fighter. She fought her whole life. She was a single mother that raised five girls! She always did her best and she never gave up. Even the doctor the day she died said she fought for her life. My mother was able to have one grandchild before her time was up on this earth. Her name is Lilliann, we will be celebrating her birthday March 19th along with my nephew Caleb, his birthday March 11th (today). We recently celebrated my other nephews birthday, Kaedin, on March 6th.

God saw that she was getting tired

And a cure was not to be,

So He put His arm around her and 

He whispered "Come Home With Me".

With tearful eyes we watched her

And saw her pass away;

Although we loved her dearly

We could not make her stay.

A golden heart stopped beating, 

Hard-working hands at rest;

God broke our hearts to prove to us

He only takes the best.

Game Changers - February Edition

What a month it has been! February! A lot has happened this month! We are officially half way through the Spring school semester! Mid term finals are complete and we are on spring break! I am starting my pre-practicum along with planning my summer and fall schedules. I am starting to think about graduate schools and graduate program. This month has just been a busy busy month full of all good!

I can't say anything bad about the month of February. This year was a leap year! We were able to get the chance to have twenty nine days instead of the regular twenty eight days. We had some beautiful weather and we were also able to  enjoy a couple of snow days. My February was filled with Love, Blessings, and Lessons.

LOVE

February is known as the month of love with valentine's day being at the center. The biggest thing you can do is love yourself. This makes so much of a difference, to see yourself through loving eyes. This can enhance your self esteem and make you an overall happier person. I am blessed I am slowly learning what it means to love yourself and to live for God. I lived too long loving others more than I loved myself. I've always put others before myself. Before you choose to love someone else, MAKE SURE YOU LOVE YOU! If you don't love yourself first you will suck the happiness and the energy from those around you. You will become a leach.

Something a lot of people try to do while finding themselves and loving themselves in getting into a relationship. You can't get into a relationship with anyone other than God when you are soul searching and are in the process of filling your life with love. You however do need to surround yourself with warm hearted people and remember to relax and focus on your own spirit, soul, and body. You need to make sure you are taking time for yourself. I am happy to say this is one of my accomplishments. Every month I continue to find myself surrounded more and more around those with big and loving hearts. This I cherish! I pray for these people one by one every night. I know God hand selected each and everyone of these individuals to make a difference in my life maybe in just this one season of my life or maybe in multiple seasons of my life.

TREAT YOURSELF

I think it is important as a single woman to spoiled yourself. I don't need anyone to buy me a gift for valentine's day, when I can just buy myself whatever I want. I think it is important to spoil yourself at least once a month. Buy yourself a few nice things. Maybe a new pair of shoes, a new bottle of perfume, a new dress, or a new outfit, or maybe even 5 panties from victoria's secret for $27.50. I really spoiled myself this month. I used to go to the store think, oh this would be nice for this person, or I should buy her this, and so on. I didn't shop for myself. It sounds selfish when saying it, but for the first time in my life, I don't feel obligated to buy other people things instead of buying for myself. I feel extremely blessed that I was able to spoil myself this month.

GIVING

However you must remember to give. Don't be too selfish. Every month I give what I can to my church. I don't feel obligated to give. I just want to be able to help someone else who may be struggling. I want my money to be circulated, God gave me a little extra cash or time, so I put it to use. I don't give all my extra money to my church. If I see a tip jar, I will alway try to leave a tip. If someone asks for a donation, I will donate. If there is a homeless man I will give them a couple of bucks. I also try to help my family. If I see my neices or nephews in need of something I will try to get it for them. I try to give when I can and where I can.

My life is changing. It is changing for the better every single day. I probably say this everytime I write, but I am just so excited to see what God has in store for me! I know he has great plans!

soulmates

To some of you this week's blog may be a little boring! I want to talk about my soul mate. I believe that a person can have more than one soul mate. I also believe that soul mate can be in the form of an animal. Yup, this week's blog is about my cat, Fury!

She is the BEST cat I have ever met. She is the most adorable cat! She doesn't ever scratch or bite me like most cats I have met do. She lets me hold her whenever I want and lets me do what I want to her. She kind of reminds me of my dog Kiya that passed away, maybe that's one of the reasons why I love her so much! Sometimes I carry her around and dance with her in my arms and she just lays there with her head lying over my arm and her just staring at me waiting for me to lay her back down.

Some cats like to sleep a lot and some cats like to play excessively. Fury is the perfect mix of both. She is super adorable, just her sleeping she makes me say awe everytime! Fury is the most cuddly cat i've probably ever owned. This may be why she is my soul mate. Every night when she is ready for bed she will make her way over to me and start cuddling and will lay down on my lap. Then when I am ready for bed she always gives me Good Night cuddles. She sleeps with me in my bed every night. In the mornings she lays as close to my face as possible and wakes me up with good morning cuddles. I'm gonna have to say that all of the cuddles are probably the main reason she is my soul mate.

I'm not really a cat person. I have always had dogs growing up, but never had too much of an interest in owning a cat. After the experience I had owning my last cat, I didn't think I would ever own a cat again. However this cat was my favorite cat in the litter from the time she was born. She was a round, longer haired, ball of fur. I just fell in love with her and decided to move her into my home. I was very hesitant, If she would've chewed or scratched anything in my home I would have returned her to my sister's house without hesitation, but she didn't. She just made me fall in love with her.

I can't ever imagine giving her away! She is my soul mate! My cat mate! My fur mate! She will forever have a place in my heart and she isn't even one year old! God has definetly blessed me with this one of a kind cat!

Why Am I Here?

Why am I here? What was I put on this earth to do? There has to be more to life than school, work, and paying bills! Many people find themselves asking themselves these questions. They are confused and are looking for direction. They want to do something more! Something bigger! I am one of these people!

We really have to just let go and let god. Let go of the fact that you aren't where you want to be in life and let god guide you in the direction you need to go. God knows what our roles in this life are meant to be. We must trust God and listen to him when he talks to us. God knows what is in our heart.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do; everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:5-6

There is so much I want to do! I want to see the world, while helping other people. When people hear my name, I want them to think, "wow, that girl she is amazing, so considerate and caring!" I want people to look up to me and think highly of me! I want to do as much for other people as I possibly can! I want to inspire and lead others daily. Getting to that point is the real challenge.

Some people are privileged to already have parents or a family member who inspire them. Someone they can follow in the footsteps of and someone who is there guiding them every step of the way. Not everyone can be that fortunate. I have people who have inspired me to be a better person, however they aren't able to guide me in the way I want to inspire others. There are so many ways to help others, it is so hard to pinpoint exactly what you want to do and exactly how you can make that happen. Each community offers different ways to help, however I'm one of those people who want to help more than just my community.

I know what I want to do within my community. I want to mentor underprivileged children and teenagers. I want to tutor them and help them through high school and college and show them that they can do it. They can make it and they can have a better life. I want to see others that think they don't have much to be happy for and don't smile very often; I want to see those people smiling! I know all to well how it feels to not have much to be happy about. Growing up I felt like I was an underprivileged child. My mom did her best as a single mother to support us but it was difficult growing up and sharing a room with all four of my sisters. We were never spoiled and we only received things we needed. My mom tried her best to be the best mother that she possibly could be. However I was always told statistically that the odds would always be against me. I am a first generation college student. No one in my family had ever went to college before myself in 2010. I had no one guiding me at this time and I know how difficult it can be with no guidance. My struggle had set me back a few years and I want to help others in making better decisions and helping them in high school and then assist in transitioning to college life.

However I also want to go outside of my community and make a difference in the lives of others. To me this is the hard part. I don't know how to help; Where to go from here. I plan to on going on a mission trip or a trip to help women and children in third world countries. However I have yet found the opportunity that fits me best and during the right time of my life. I'm trusting that when the time is right God will place the right opportunity right in front of my eyes.

I may not know exactly why I am here or even what my purpose is but I do know i'm here to affect the lives of others and be a positive role model to all others who find themselves looking up to me. To make a difference in the lives of other people who are often overlooked. I look forward to the journey God has sent me on and I look forward in making people smile everyday and making a difference in their lives.

I am currently taking baby steps in the process and am proud to say that I have joined Big Brothers and Big Sisters and I will soon be a Big Sister to an individual whom I look forward to positively changing the life of! So thankful that God brought this opportunity to me and I can't wait to get started!

BE YOURSELF - WHOEVER THAT MAY BE

It is funny how you can be in a relationship for three and a half years and feel like the other person only knows half of you. For me, a young nineteen year old when I hopped into my first relationship, it was very hard to show my true self because I wanted him to like me. Ultimately it negatively affected the relationship because I felt like I had to hide a side of me that he had never seen. The side that sings all the time and annoyingly loudly (like so annoying, I annoy myself, annoying...). The side that dances across the room to any kind of music. And the side that bursts into song whenever someone says the lyrics to a particular song in a sentence (friends you know what i'm talking about). Those parts of you, you should never hide! It is the characteristics of yourself that makes you, you, and it makes you a happier person. 

A lot of my unhappiness in life had been contributed to hiding. All because I cared what others would think if they heard my high pitched, off key, and tone deaf singing voice (I may be exaggerating a bit). Or what people would think if they saw my crazy dance moves for the first time. However I sit here asking myself, why do I care what they think? If they don't like me for my voice or for my dancing or my random spurts of singing because they said some lyric to a song and that song popped into my head and I burst into song, or part of that song, then they are the ones who are missing out. If someone doesn't like you for you, then they really don't belong in your life. Their loss! 

There were so many times in the relationship that I rode in the car for hours wanting to sing and dance to the music on the radio but never did because I had never shown that side of me before. I was afraid; But afraid of what? That is what I should have been asking myself. I was just so stuck in the way things were. The more and more time that went by it was harder to unleash that side of me which of course ended up contributing to my own unhappiness. However when I rode in the car with just myself things were completely different. Those were some of the best times. I didn't have anyone in the car with me. I could sing as loud as I wanted and I didn't have a care in the world. At stop lights I definetly got some crazy looks and stares from people in the cars next to mine because they were jealous of the ultimate jam sesh I was having inside the car (i'm pretty sure they wanted to join in).... 

"Care about what other people think and you will be their prisoner." -Lao Tzu

You should simply be yourself all the time! Don't change yourself to impress someone else. If God has plans for that person to be in your life then it will simply happen and they will like you for who you are inside. 

Kind of upsetting that it took me until age 23 to find this out and to truly be happy!!! God had plenty of lessons and obstacles that I needed to first face. Now the past is the past. God has great plans for my future. It's time to look forward and with God guiding me the possibilities are never ending! The future is shining brighter than ever and I have a feeling my journey is going to be an incredible one!

Game Changers - January Edition

Going to Church

Changing this one aspect in my life, has changed my life!!! I have attended church every Sunday since I have returned from Europe. I really love going, it is seriously the highlight of my week! I go by myself and don't even mind. My relationship with the Lord has grown abundantly and I am so happy to say it is still growing everyday! I am applying to volunteer at Family Valley Church and to be apart of V-Crew! It would be an amazing opportunity to be apart of something so big, that does so much for other people! Writing this made me excited, I can't wait to hear next Sunday's message now!

Happiness

For the first time in a long time I am completely happy with how my life is. It doesn't feel like anything is missing! It feels complete. I have everything I need and want and couldn't ask for anything more. I have noticed that there is a smile on my face 99% of the time! There is nothing more beautiful that a person can wear than a smile! For this I am so grateful to God! I most certainly have came a long way! I feel like finding TRUE happiness in life is a VERY important step! You need to completely be happy with you and yourself. When this happens you find yourself to be a much more happier individual all around. Relationships with friends and even God will come more naturally, without even having to try. What is meant to be will be! So wear a smile, be happy, and praise the Lord!

Doing things by myself 

I've always thought that I needed someone to do things with. Like to go to the store with, go to the gym with, go to the movies with, or even go out to eat with. However January showed me this was very untrue. It was the first time that I noticed that I actually enjoy doing any of the above alone. I actually prefer it most times! I've learned to accept my own joy and I've learned that my company (and my cats of course...) is all that I need. This all surfaces from happiness. I have never felt this much happiness in my heart and soul until very recently. Until this happens it will be difficult to simply enjoy your own company.

 

Studying at Starbucks 

I recently started a new habit. I always have a bunch of studying to do and a bunch of homework, I find myself very easily distracted while studying at home. When this happens, I head to Starbucks! This is a plus for me, because I really enjoy coffee (usually I really NEED the caffeine!). Something new I learned while at Starbucks was that refills are only 50¢. I head here because most times it's pretty quiet and it limits my distractions. I have easily spent 6 hours sitting at a starbucks table studying! I always get so much accomplished there. Probably one of my favorite hangout spots!

CNN 

In the past month I have grown to love CNN. I love keeping up with what is going on in the world around me and following the presidential candidates. I love to watch the debates and to learn all about the candidates. Most of all I find following the candidates is VERY important, if I am going to vote, I really want to know who I am voting for and what they stand for! You can really learn a lot from watching!!! CNN really gives me a sense of excitement! (I swear I am spiritual somewhere in my 60's). My obsession has increased to actually turning on CNN instead of music while doing my homework or writing my blog. The thrill of watching actually makes it hard to turn off every night! I may be becoming addicted!

Western Michigan University 

For the first time I am enjoying my experience at a post-secondary school. While attending Lake Michigan College, I didn't actually enjoy attending my classes, I was just taking them because I needed them to graduate. My outlook on school and my class has completely changed! I like to wake up and go to lecture, I look forward to acing my daily quizzes, and I look forward in growing my knowledge! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! I still plan on becoming more involved with student organizations and meeting new people. It is my first semester at WMU and I am having the best experience already! 

Change

I have changed so much in such a short time. It is really amazing and I am grateful that this has happened to me. I feel like I put on a pair of glasses and I see the world completely differently! Fortunately people never stop changing, so throughout my life I will get to wear many different pairs of glasses! I am still working on a few things at this very moment. This includes better time-management with school and work, parking further away and walking at stores (this used to really bother me), becoming involved in the community and making a difference in the lives of others, and other small minor pet peeves that usually bother me (like my sisters obnoxiously loud chewing). One other thing that I have been working on is accepting criticism. I have never been good at this! I tend to get defensive and feel like people are attacking me when they criticize! So help me out! Feel free to leave a comment with your honest opinion of this post. Also feel free to look for any grammatical errors and leave a comment so I can correct them!!!

Thanks to everyone who reads my posts, I hope you will continue to read and I hope you all enjoy them. May God bless you and you all have a good week!!!

The Beginning

First I want to welcome you to my first ever blog. I am pretty new at this, but plan on sticking with it. I'm pretty committed. I plan on posting in this blog once a week for the whole year of 2016.

It really didn't take very long to come up with a name for my blog. I really want to open up on here and show a side of me that many of you probably don't know. For me that would be what goes on inside my heart and inside of my mind. When thinking of a name I kept that in mind, so I thought, hmmm, how about Inside the Mind of Sam. To me this seemed so common. I'm definitely not a very common individual. I decided to go with Heart Of The Mind. This blog will be about everything that goes on inside my mind and in my life. However so much goes inside of my mind that I don't even think this blog will have enough space nor me enough time to express it all. 

My mind and my heart have been in many battles, fighting together and at times fighting against each other. This blog will detail you many of those battles. However this blog won't just be about me, it will be about so much more; it's about life and it's about bettering yourself. It will at times have no order, such as life does at many points in life. It will be pretty random and involve events that I have been through, my everyday life now, self-improvement advice, fitness and the mind, possibly some of my favorite recipes, and so much more. I am a very diverse individual and I have no limits. My brain wonders so much that this blog will be on a very large spectrum.

I hope you all enjoy immensely!